Parenting. Single Style.

As single parents, we often become fiercely independent. From cleaning and cooking to homework and soccer games, we know what has to be done and we do it.. alone. 

It’s time to pay attention. It’s time to realize that people around you might actually want to help. And by help I don’t mean “charity case”. By help, I mean “I like you, you’re my friend, I enjoy helping you make your life easier”.

Let me explain. I live in a home with tan carpet. Tan carpet + 7 year old boy = a need for a carpet shampooer and a few hours of wet carpet.

I had it all planned out. I would shampoo 3/4 of the living room and 1/2 of the hallway last night, leaving a walking path of dry carpet for this morning’s school and work routine. Tonight the wet carpet would be dry and I would shampoo said walking path. The master plan revolved around a need to not let my son walk all over my wet, freshly shampooed carpet. It was complicated, but I could see it working.

I was working furiously last night to try to get the first half of my carpet shampooed. Enter my boyfriend. He calls with a simple solution - he can pick up Sebastian and take him to his house, I’ll finish all of my carpets in one night, we can spend the night at his house, and my carpets will be dry the next day. It’s simple, it’s better than my plan, and it works.  Any idiot would agree to it. Any idiot except for me.

Why? Because I’m fiercely independent. I’m not used to accepting help. I’m stubborn. I say “No, thanks”. (Anyone reading can stop slapping their forehead now).

I hung up the phone, turned the shampooer back on and the light blub came on like a spotlight. I stopped, stared in the mirror and realized how stupid I am.

Someone wants to help. Accepting help doesn’t mean you aren’t able to handle it yourself. It just means you might not have to this time.  

I called back, he picked up my son, I finished my carpets. This morning when I arrived home, I was greeted with freshly cleaned, dry carpet. This will leave me free to focus on something else tonight.

Something like saying thank you. Something like realizing that the people in your life might actually have your best interest at heart. And they might not want anything in return.

So I beg of you - realize this for yourself. Realize that those important to you might want to help and it might not have anything to do with losing control and becoming dependent. Maybe they just care. 

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